Monday, October 25, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Fall fun
It has been an amazing fall!! We have done so much together as a family, Pumpkin carving. Corn Belly Festival, Trunk or treating.. Face painting.. all kinds of fun things.. Here are some pictures!!
Our trick or treating posse!!
Austin K thrasher Lundt!! Skeleton baby!
Riot J Zombie General Extraordinaire!!
Cousins!!
A lady and her great horned owl!
Eliza and the princess!!
Learning the princess ropes!
SOOO STARVING!!!
funny faces!!
face painting!
Wolf!
Super freaky!
I carved this one!!
Xander and lizas!
Riot J!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
living in the now..
imI'm laying in bed...blogging on my phone..
Right next to me is baby austin.. his mom has been in california for a few days visiting Riot j she is such a good mom to her boys and they are so lucky to have her.. she loves so completly. With such reckless abandon. With so much emotion its overwhelming.
I'm so lucky to get this time with Austin K I had such depression with xander that I have never really gotten to bond with him as a baby.. I've had austin pretty much since he was 9 weeks old.. loving him. Bonding with him. I really want us to have a special relationship. So if his life is hard he knows his auntie trina will always be there along with his mom to pick up the pieces.. I love him like he is my own baby..
Right next to me is baby austin.. his mom has been in california for a few days visiting Riot j she is such a good mom to her boys and they are so lucky to have her.. she loves so completly. With such reckless abandon. With so much emotion its overwhelming.
I'm so lucky to get this time with Austin K I had such depression with xander that I have never really gotten to bond with him as a baby.. I've had austin pretty much since he was 9 weeks old.. loving him. Bonding with him. I really want us to have a special relationship. So if his life is hard he knows his auntie trina will always be there along with his mom to pick up the pieces.. I love him like he is my own baby..
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Amazing
Its exactly 6:00 P.M. On October 13, 2010
69 days ago 33 Miners were trapped in a Coal Mine collapse in Chile. as of right now 30/33 have been pulled from the earth.
I'm soo grateful for this. The reason why you ask??
My husband is a Coal Miner.. MY heart is so full right now.. I have thought about these brave men everyday, So grateful that they are alive.. So grateful that they found a way out..
My husband goes 4 miles into the earth 4 days a week for 12 hrs a day.. They are pulling millions of tons out of the ground every year.. They move the earth, they dig at the earth, they push and pull at the earth.. The chances of the earth coming down on them is so profound its unspeakable.. I fear everyday All day at the idea of a Collapse..
The relief that comes with this amazing effort from the whole world... I am filled with such peace, knowing that the Whole world has been praying for these miners.. that the Wives, children and families have been grasping onto those prayers, in hope that they willl be answered.. Today they were..
Joy
The Joy written on the face of the Miners as they come above ground, the joy of the children. Joyful Embraces..
I pray that nothing like this could ever happen to Jason.. and if it does.. I hope the efforts to rescue him will be the same.. @ 7:15 pm, ill get a call from my husband while hes driving home from work.. and I promise that that conversation will be filled with so much Love and relief.. and maybe a few tears..
Today, my whole life changed.. I will Respect my husbands hard work UNDERGROUND and I will BE gratefull everyday...
69 days ago 33 Miners were trapped in a Coal Mine collapse in Chile. as of right now 30/33 have been pulled from the earth.
I'm soo grateful for this. The reason why you ask??
My husband is a Coal Miner.. MY heart is so full right now.. I have thought about these brave men everyday, So grateful that they are alive.. So grateful that they found a way out..
My husband goes 4 miles into the earth 4 days a week for 12 hrs a day.. They are pulling millions of tons out of the ground every year.. They move the earth, they dig at the earth, they push and pull at the earth.. The chances of the earth coming down on them is so profound its unspeakable.. I fear everyday All day at the idea of a Collapse..
The relief that comes with this amazing effort from the whole world... I am filled with such peace, knowing that the Whole world has been praying for these miners.. that the Wives, children and families have been grasping onto those prayers, in hope that they willl be answered.. Today they were..
Joy
The Joy written on the face of the Miners as they come above ground, the joy of the children. Joyful Embraces..
I pray that nothing like this could ever happen to Jason.. and if it does.. I hope the efforts to rescue him will be the same.. @ 7:15 pm, ill get a call from my husband while hes driving home from work.. and I promise that that conversation will be filled with so much Love and relief.. and maybe a few tears..
Today, my whole life changed.. I will Respect my husbands hard work UNDERGROUND and I will BE gratefull everyday...
Monday, October 11, 2010
ugh!
Here it is, 10:16
Sitting here all alone in the kitchen.. Listening to the baby swing rock sweet Austin to sleep.. Roxy the big fat lab snoring at my feet.. QVC is on the tv in the front room and They are Raving about Some sort of Corduroy Disaster.. feeling Awkward and horribly dissapointed.. My life has some how turned from bliss to blisters tonight.. Wishing i was out with my friends.. Doing crazy things.. Drinking way to much Vodka and Laughing until I cry.. Plans fall through and I feel sad.. I realize drinking and laughing on a Monday night isnt exactly the thing i should be doing but I dont really care right now.. I just want to be out of this house.. flirting with a hangover..
Xander stayed home from school today because he was sick with a sore throat... Eliza complained that she was in a "Bad Mood" all day and that she "always is" I swear that girl is going to be the death of my beautifully bleached hair.. One of these days im going to wake up to prematurly graying hair..
I watched romeo and Juliet today.. And I just think about what it would be like to hear Leo Dicaprio reciting Shakespeare to me.. "Sin from my lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again"
The Randomness of this blog is giving me Mono, So I guess ill say Adieu..
Goodnight..
Sitting here all alone in the kitchen.. Listening to the baby swing rock sweet Austin to sleep.. Roxy the big fat lab snoring at my feet.. QVC is on the tv in the front room and They are Raving about Some sort of Corduroy Disaster.. feeling Awkward and horribly dissapointed.. My life has some how turned from bliss to blisters tonight.. Wishing i was out with my friends.. Doing crazy things.. Drinking way to much Vodka and Laughing until I cry.. Plans fall through and I feel sad.. I realize drinking and laughing on a Monday night isnt exactly the thing i should be doing but I dont really care right now.. I just want to be out of this house.. flirting with a hangover..
Xander stayed home from school today because he was sick with a sore throat... Eliza complained that she was in a "Bad Mood" all day and that she "always is" I swear that girl is going to be the death of my beautifully bleached hair.. One of these days im going to wake up to prematurly graying hair..
I watched romeo and Juliet today.. And I just think about what it would be like to hear Leo Dicaprio reciting Shakespeare to me.. "Sin from my lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again"
The Randomness of this blog is giving me Mono, So I guess ill say Adieu..
Goodnight..
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Losing my mind....
"I've cried until there were no more tears.. I sobbed until my lungs ached in fury... I yelled and screamed until my voice went hoarse. I wished on a star and I sent up a prayer into heaven.. please lord help me get under control before I lose everything"
That was my facebook post from late last night.. I didnt even realize I wrote it until this morning.. My life has been well lets just say.."Less than perfect" My parents, my children, my loneliness, my craziness have started to really wear on me... until last night I totally lost my mind..
everything that is written above is the most accurate account of my feelings and actions last night.. I literally LOST myself in a tornado sized freak out.. I yelled at my mom, I screamed into my pillow and I cried and cried on the phone to Jason. Just praying for some sort of relief.. and you know, after all of that.. Relief came in the form of a deep Disturb free sleep.. My husband said all the right things. He knows exactly what I need when I get like this. Im so lucky..
I am over my heartache now, A better person. With every Freak out comes a new insight. Insight into the life I have, the perfect imperfection.. I dont want my life to be perfect... I need to cry so hard that my head throbs for hours.. I need to yell so loud that I lose my voice and I need to sob so hard that the very breath that allows me life escapes me for a few seconds.. I need to feel that, so when I get to the point where my imperfect perfect life gives me some perspective, tells me, Its okay to be imperfect.. As long as you love with reckless abandon and feel with every ounce of yourself..
And Last night was conformation..
That was my facebook post from late last night.. I didnt even realize I wrote it until this morning.. My life has been well lets just say.."Less than perfect" My parents, my children, my loneliness, my craziness have started to really wear on me... until last night I totally lost my mind..
everything that is written above is the most accurate account of my feelings and actions last night.. I literally LOST myself in a tornado sized freak out.. I yelled at my mom, I screamed into my pillow and I cried and cried on the phone to Jason. Just praying for some sort of relief.. and you know, after all of that.. Relief came in the form of a deep Disturb free sleep.. My husband said all the right things. He knows exactly what I need when I get like this. Im so lucky..
I am over my heartache now, A better person. With every Freak out comes a new insight. Insight into the life I have, the perfect imperfection.. I dont want my life to be perfect... I need to cry so hard that my head throbs for hours.. I need to yell so loud that I lose my voice and I need to sob so hard that the very breath that allows me life escapes me for a few seconds.. I need to feel that, so when I get to the point where my imperfect perfect life gives me some perspective, tells me, Its okay to be imperfect.. As long as you love with reckless abandon and feel with every ounce of yourself..
And Last night was conformation..
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